Divorce and therapy: support before and after

Updated 30 October 2026 · Editorial principles and sources

In brief

Divorce is one of life's biggest changes. It evokes powerful emotions: grief, relief, fear, and anger, often simultaneously. Therapy helps process these feelings, support children through the change, and build a new life. In Finland, both free (family counseling centers, church family counseling) and private support services are available.

When does therapy help with divorce?

Before the decision

Couples therapy can help clarify whether the relationship can be repaired or if separation is the best solution. Sometimes the outcome of couples therapy is a respectful separation.

During separation

Individual therapy helps process feelings of grief, anger, and disappointment. Divorce mediation helps with practical matters and child custody.

After separation

Therapy helps build a new identity and life. Especially important if there are unprocessed feelings or old relationship patterns repeating in new relationships.

Children and divorce

Divorce is always a significant change for a child. How parents act during separation greatly affects the child's adjustment.

Tell the child together, age-appropriately and honestly
Reassure that the divorce is not the child's fault
Don't speak badly about the other parent in front of the child
Keep daily routines as predictable as possible
Consider family therapy or the child's own therapy if adjustment is difficult

Support options in Finland

Service	Price	Suitable when
Family counseling	Free	Children's matters, family support
Church family counseling	Free	Relationship, divorce, mediation
Individual therapy	Varies by therapist	Support for coping, processing emotions
Family mediation	Free (wellbeing services county)	Custody, living arrangements, maintenance

Why do the same relationship patterns repeat?

If you notice repeating the same patterns relationship after relationship, there may be an attachment pattern formed in childhood behind it. Therapy helps identify these patterns and build healthier ways of being in relationships.

Frequently asked questions

Can couples therapy end in divorce?

Yes, and that's a perfectly acceptable outcome. The goal of couples therapy isn't always to save the relationship –sometimes the goal is to determine whether the relationship can be repaired or whether separation is the best solution for both. The therapist can also help separate respectfully and support children through the change.

Can I get Kela-supported therapy for divorce?

A separation itself is not a diagnosis. If, for example, depression or an anxiety disorder is diagnosed in connection with the separation, Kela rehabilitation psychotherapy is possible if the disorder threatens your ability to work or study, has been treated for at least 3 months, and a psychiatrist has written a B-statement. Family counselling and parish family counselling centres are free and need no diagnosis.

Does a child need their own therapy when parents divorce?

Not necessarily, but therapy can help if the child is significantly struggling: sleep difficulties, behavioral changes, withdrawal, or school problems. The family counseling center is a good first contact. Most importantly, parents should protect the child from conflicts between adults.